1. When Zlatan crosses the street, cars look both ways.
2. Zlatan doesn't have hair on his testicles because hair can't grow on steel
3. You can't use 'Zlatan' as your password because it is 'too strong'.
4. Zlatan wakes up his alarm clock every morning.
5. Ghosts sit around camp fires & tell each other Zlatan stories.
6. Zlatan doesn't make left turns, because everything he does is right.
7. Zlatan once went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund.
8. When Zlatan works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.
9. Zlatan and Superman once had a race. The loser had to start wearing his underwear over his trousers.
10. Zlatan went to school so he could be studied.
11. Cameras can't take pictures of Zlatan, nothing takes anything from Zlatan.
12. Zlatan can rip a page out of Facebook .
13. Zlatan once killed two stones with one bird.
14. There used to be a street in Sweden named after Zlatan but it had to be changed because nobody crosses Zlatan and lives.
15. Zlatan was approached to star in Mission Impossible. But he refused because he found the title insulting.
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