YOU MIGHT BE REDNECK IF

YOU MIGHT BE REDNECK IF
-- Your computer stand is made of a stack of old tires or 2 x 8's and
cinderblocks.-- You think www. in a burl is a logo for a wrestling
organization.
-- Someone tells You they're "locked up" and You ask if they need
bail money.
-- You've ever been too drunk to chat.-- Your screen saver is a confederate
flag and plays Dixie.
-- You think a hard drive is a trip to Uncle Bubba's.
-- Your mouse keeps knocking over your spit can.
-- You think a surge suppressor is a pill for diarrhea.
-- You keep trying to figure out why your scanner won't pick up police radio
calls.
-- You think a megabyte is a new sandwich at McDonalds.
-- You have to ask someone how to spell LOLL.
-- You stomach overlaps half of your keyboard.
-- You try to figure out how to get your empty beer cans into the recycling
bin.
-- You try to turn on Your computer with the remote.
-- You try to figure out how Your floppy disk got hard.
-- You play Frisbee with your CD Room�s.
-- You find yourself on the floor looking into your "A Drive" yelling 'Give it
back! Give it Back'.
-- When birds fly across your screen an you reach for Your shotgun.
-- You put a mousetrap on your desk.
-- Your yard is full of old computers stacked on cinder blocks.
-- You use Your CD-ROM drive as a beer holder.
-- You call tech support an ask where to buy stamps for your e-mail.
-- When You tern your computer on you says, "Come OOOOOOON Betsy."
-- You think system wizard is a dude in a funny hat.
-- You think 64 M RAM is a new big block engine for Your pickup.
-- You think ICE is how smart your computer is.
-- Someone tells you that your computer has a bug an you reach for the can of
Raid.
-- You think a mouse pad is where Mighty Mouse and his cousins hang.
-- You go buy a surfboard to surf the net.
-- You think your homepage is where you really live.
-- You give directions to a website that include a person, animal, or old
barn.
-- You think MB stands for "More Beer�.
-- You wait for the Blue light special at K-Mart to buy your computer.
-- You see the word Download, and take the shells out of your shotgun.
-- You think the person that made your keyboard was dumb 'cusp the letters
aren't in order.
-- You think pushing the delete key will make your old' lady disappear.
-- You think CD stands for Cow Dung.
-- You think GIF stands for "Goodie It's Free�.
-- You think Metabolism is a new brand of smokes.-- You see the "shift" key
and try to figure out how to change gears.
-- You wonder why your screen saver isn�t wearing a cape like that there
superhero on the cartoons.
-- You think screen saver is a new flavor o' candy.
-- You think Geocities is a place to buy little cars.
-- You catch yourself trying to smell the little flower on your ICE contact
list.
-- You think the "A drive" is where you park your pickup.
-- You see the word "Zip" and know why you were feeling a draft.
-- Your computer has a bumper sticker on it.
-- Part of Your computer is held together with duct tape.
-- You see the word "Refresh" and reach into the cooler for another beer.
-- You�re in a chat room and someone asks where you�re from and you reply, "My
momma�.
-- You see the word "Website" and start looking for spiders.