When should you retire to Florida�.

When your wife gives your favorite polyester leisure suit to Goodwill and a teenager shows up at your door wearing it on Halloween night.


When you throw away your alarm clock and let your bladder wake you up at 7am every morning.


When you mention Pearl Harbor to your Grandson and he says he heard of her didn�t she use to sing with a big band?


When you realize that you have underwear older than the quarterback on your favorite NFL team.


When you discover that the lifetime guarantees on everything you own has expired.


When you turn on your computer and DOS 3.5 comes up as your operating system.


When the kids at Berger King are getting paid more than you ever made per hour in your life.


When you have a garage sale and everything has a brand name that know one has ever heard of.


When an aluminum walker becomes your main


When you can remember milk being delivered to your front door.


When the only things your friends can talk about every day is their bowel movements.


When the only bird you can name is the Early Bird.


When you try to lick a stamp that is self-adhesive.


When you find you have a full-length beaver coat in your closet.


When the can of Coffee in your kitchen cupboard is Pre-Columbian.


When you find out the house next door sold for $250,000 and you paid only $18,000 for yours.


When all you ever watch on TV is the History channel and Turners Movie Classics.


When your Limo driver shows up at the front door in a new black suite and you think he�s the undertaker.


When all those brown spots on your arms and hands will not wash off.


When you drop off your teeth at the dentist�s office to be worked on.


When you have a key ring with over 30 keys on it and all you really use are two.


When your favorite shoes are white and your favorite slacks are lime green.


When you eat at a fish restaurant and have a compulsion to tell the waitress out loud that � That was the best piece of bass I ever had in my life!�