Voodoo dildo

A man was going to go on a business trip and wanted to get his wife a new toy to try and reduce the chance that she would cheat on him while he was gone.

So he went to a local sex shop and told the clerk what he was looking for and why.

The clerk showed him a collection of dildos and other sex toys, but he didn't really think they were what he wanted to get. So he started to leave when the clerk showed him a special dildo that he has, that might be what he's looking for.

"this here," described the clerk "is the voodoo dildo. It can hear your voice commands. So you can say 'voodoo dildo' and then name a part of your body and it will fuck it like there is no tomorrow. Your wife will be busy for weeks with this thing."


So he said "voodoo dildo, hand." and sure enough the dildo floated up and started massaging his hand.


"how do you make it stop!" he said as the dildo started really going at it.


"just say voodoo dildo enough. And as you can see, it has gone back into its box here."


"great! I'll buy it!"


So the man takes it home to his wife and he explains how it woks.

"voodoo dildo, my pussy" she says, and it rises out of its box and starts going at it. She orgasms within minutes and makes it stop.

Feeling proud of himself he leaves for his trip.

Over the next few days his wife has some of the most amazing orgasms of her life and one day realizes she needs to go get groceries. So she leaves the house and takes her dildo with her.

As she is driving she suddenly gets horny and gets out the dildo, and after several minutes she is so overthrown with orgasms that she starts to drive like a drink driver.

Seeing this car swerving all over the road a policeman pulls her over.

"mam, is there a reason why you were swerving all over the road?"

"vvv-vvoodddooo dddilldoo" she manages to mumble through her pleasure.

The cop laughs and says

"voodoo dido, my ass!"