This is a true story.
Two good friends, Jerry and Ralph, were out walking in the desert one day when Jerry goes off behind a cactus to take a leak. While he's draining his bladder a snake leaps up and bites him on the end of his dick. Ralph on hearing Jerry's scream runs over and says, "What happened?"
Jerry, who's starting to feel some numbness creeping up along his member explains that a snake bit him on the end of his dick.
"What kind of snake?", Ralph inquires.
"I don't know, spotted ... with flecks of orange, red on it .... fuck, does it matter? Just call a doctor and hurry. I feel like shit."
So Ralph moves off and pulls out his cell and calls his doctor explaining the situation.
The doctor asks, "Did you get a good look at the snake?"
Ralph repeats what Jerry said to which the doctor replied, "Oh my, that's a very poisonous snake. You have to get the venom out as quickly as possible or your friend will die."
"How do I do that?" asked Ralph.
"You're going to have to suck it out with your mouth", the doctor instructed.
"Okay, okay. Thanks Doc", Ralph responds as he quickly hangs up and runs over to his friend Jerry.
Jerry has deteriorated quite a bit by now and is starting to sweat and shake uncontrollably. He sees Ralph running up and in a weakened, anxious voice asks "So? What did the doctor say?"
Ralph looks at his friend and replies "He said you're gonna die."
(A variation on an oldie but goldie joke)
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