ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM

ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM ---Author unknownFor years 'n years they told me, be careful of your breastsDon't ever squeeze or bruise them, and give them monthly tests.So I heeded all their warnings and protected them by lawGuarded them very carefully, and always wore a bra.After 30 years of careful care, the doctor found a lumpHe ordered up a mammogram to look inside that clump.Stand up very close, she said, as she got my tit in lineAnd tell me when it hurts, she said, Ah, yes, there! That's just fine.She stepped upon a pedal...I could not believe my eyesA plastic plate was pressing down...My boob was in a vice!!!My skin was stretched 'n stretched from way up by my chinAnd my poor tit was being squashed to swedish pancake thin!!!Excruciating pain I felt within it's vice-like gripA prisoner in this vicious thing, my poor defenseless tit!!!Take a deep breath she said.Who does she think she's kidding?My chest is smashed in her machine and woozy I am getting.There, that was good I heard her say as the room was slowly swayingNow let's get the other one.Lord, have mercy, I was praying.It squeezed me from the up and down, it squeezed me from both sidesI'll bet she's never had this done to her tender little hide!!!If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one nowIf there had been a cyst in there, it would have popped--ker pow!!This machine was made by man, of this I have no doubtI'd like to get his balls in there, for months he'd go without.