Topical Jokes (5/19)

Good evening, folks! It is once again time to relay the jokes.

First up, if you're not following this story, you're missing out. The IRS scandal continues to get stickier. According to a White House insider, President Obama learned about the IRS scandal by watching TV news. As shocking as that may seem, it's not near as bad when you learn Biden only found out and understood the scandal once Obama reenacted what he saw on the news with sock puppets.

Let's back off the heavy stuff and break into some fun (Reddit-friendly) news. Following in the footsteps of "Uggie", a cat is now the breakout star of the Cannes film festival. The cat won over audiences with his brave performance in the upcoming summer thriller, "Terminator 5: Rise of the Laser Pointers".

More entertainment news, Kanye West revealed his new album is titled "Yeezus". Reminding us all of that crucial Bible verse where Jesus told his disciples, "Now, I ain't sayin' she's a frankincense-fracker, but she ain't messin' with no broke Messianic cr*cker."

This is a strange story, a new study has discovered that brain shock therapy can boost math skill. So, if you're still afraid of math, don't worry, just let us glue some large electrodes to your face...

Some funny news. Just today, the Pope admitted he occasionally sleeps during mass - and sometimes if he's feeling extra lazy and doesn't even want to show up, he'll just call in possessed.

That is it for now but I'll come back if anything else good pops up today. Thanks for checking out my stuff - I really appreciate it!

Once again, if you're of the mind to hear more from me... https://twitter.com/boydstantinople