Top 47 Reasons for women NOT To Have Sex

1. The pitter patter of little feet


2. Never let 'em see you sweat


3. Your parents might realise that you're not 12 years old anymore


4. Naked men


5. Guilt, guilt, and GUILT


6. You might like it


7. Rhenquist, Scalia, Kennedy, Souter, Thomas


8. Paying back oral sex debts


9. Only pagans procreate


10. Castration


11. You might fall in lust or, Heaven forbid, love


12. Body hair


13. Too many lights on in the room


14. Your roommate and neighbours can't sleep with all that screaming


15. Axl Rose


16. Since that nasty little Gulf War, there's no money left for research and treatment of those nasty little Sexually Transmitted Diseases


17. Why bother doing it yourself? Just buy the new Prince album


18. Pennsylvania Abortion Law


19. Utah Abortion Law


20. Alabama Abortion Law


21. Taking care of the orgasm deficit


22. Yeast infections


23. Too sticky


24. Messes up your hair


25. Charley-horses


26. Bladder infections


27. Cher


28. "It's only a cold sore"


29. Photographers with infrared cameras (remember, if it can be seen from a public place, it's not private)


30. Hetero men who ask, "Did you come yet?"


31. SOMEBODY has to sleep in the wet spot


32. Taking off the jimmy-hat


33. In horror flicks, people having sex are always the first to be killed by axe murderers in hockey masks


34. The ever popular Eternal Damnation


35. Smegma


36. You still live with your parents


37. You love her but you're not *in love* with her


38. Creation of sounds not meant to be emitted by the human body


39. Drooling


40. Letters to the Editor


41. Calling out the wrong name


42. Potential threat to your political aspirations (unless you're a Kennedy)


43. Your brother gets home from school at 3:00


44. No one to have sex with


45. Carpet burn


46. Any offspring resultant from sex may end up looking like you!


47. Worse than No.46.. they could end up looking like him!