Top 10 Valentine Card Rejects

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.


9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.


8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.


7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.


6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.


5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!


4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.


3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".


2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!


1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!