Their kidnapper informs them that if they wish to be set free, they need to listen to everything he says. His first order is that each of them must get back as many fruit of one kind as possible.
The first guy returns with a bag of apples. The kidnapper then tells him, "If you want to be spared, you're going to have to stuff 3 of those apples up your ass. And you're not allowed to express any sort of emotion while doing so. If your face so much as twitches, I'll have to shoot you."
The first guy manages to push one apple up his rear but on the second reduces to tears from the agonizing pain and is shot dead as a result.
The second guy's got back a bunch of grapes and is given the same set of instructions as the first. He slides one grape up his butthole. Totally calm. He slides the second. Smooth. As he's got the third ready, he suddenly bursts into a fit of laughter.
The kidnapper is perplexed. "Look, I'm going to have to shoot you, but why the fuck are you laughing? You were doing so well."
So, the second guy responds, "Cause the third guy's brought back pineapples."
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