Three Chineese Tortures

One day, a man walking in the woods became hopelessly lost in a
vast jungle. He walked for hours and hours and finally he came
upon a small cottage. This man was very tired, so he knocked on
the door and an old Chineese man answered it. The man asked if
he could stay the night, and the Chineese guy said he could
under one condition: the man kept away from his daughter. The
guy figured that this would be easy, because the daughter should
be considerably older than him, so he agreed. The man came
inside, and while the Chineese guy was showing him to his room,
he caught a glimpse of his daughter. She was beautiful and
young with long hair and sparkling eyes. The guy got to his
room and tried to go to sleep, but his mind kept on focusing on
them man's daughter. So, he crept down to her room for a night
of romance. The guy woke up the next morning in his room with a
heavy feeling on his chest. He looked up, and saw a massive
rock on him with a note attached to it. The note said: "Since
you have disobeyed my rules, you must feel the wrath of the
three worst Chineese tortures". Below it said: "Chineese
torture #1: large rock on chest." The guy figured that if this
was the first torture, how bad could the other ones be? So, he
heaved the rock out of the window. He soon realized that the
rock was attached to a rope. On the rope was a note with a
message: "Chineese torture #2: Rope attached to left testicle."
Thinking he would rather break a few bones then be causterated,
the guy jumped out the window after the rock. He looked down at
the ground and saw a message spray-painted on it. It read:
"Chineese torture #3: Right testicle attached to bedpost"