Three brothers longed for wealth and fame

So they put together an expedition to track down the lost treasures of Egypt. They weren't particularly successful, but they stumbled on the a tomb and decided to check it out, even though it wasn't on their list. Inside, there were three passageways with an inscription above each one.

"He who enters shall die a watery death" read the first.

"He who enters shall die a fiery death" read the second.

"He who enters shall die a mysterious death" read the third.

The eldest brother had been a collegiate so he chose the first. The middle brother was a volunteer firefighter and chose the second. The youngest brother, being wholly unremarkable, took the third without complaint.

They decided to go one at a time, so as to not be all lost at once should the inscriptions prove truthful. The eldest entered walked down the hallway and was greeted by stairs that descended into darkness. He lit his torch and walked down. At the bottom, it opened up to a room filled with an amount of gold and gems he had not thought was possible. He emptied his pack and started stuffing it with gold, but the he heard a rush of air and water and the room began flooding. He scrambled, still trying to grab as much as he could carry. By the time he reached the stairs the water was above his head, running out of air, and the gold kept him from rising to the surface for air. He scrambled along the floor as fast as he could and made it to the top of the stairs where he broke the surface and gasped for air.

Back at the entrance he greeted his brothers, told his tale, and displayed his spoils. The middle brother couldn't resist such temptation and decided he would risk it as well. The room at the bottom of his stairs was similarly splendorous, and as he grabbed what he could carry he felt the temperature rise. Lava started seeping in through holes in the wall faster than he'd ever seen. As he reached the stairs, the lava flow was mere inches behind him. However, he made it safely back to his brothers, the lava stopping at the top of the stairs just as the water did.

The youngest couldn't bear the shame of being outdone by his older brothers, so he too decided to enter his hallway. He had thought his brothers were telling tall tales when they had described the treasures that had awaited them, but he was surprised to see they were not. He nervously filled his bag, having no idea what might try to kill him, but there was nothing. He filled his pack, and walked back to his brothers who were none too happy about who easy he'd had it.

That being enough adventure for the three brothers, they returned home and cashed in their treasures. They had more money than any of them could spend. The eldest brother bought a rooftop suite, complete with a beautiful garden. The middle brother bought a mansion and hired staff to tend to his every need. The youngest bought a 3 bedroom house in the suburbs. Because he was wholly unremarkable.

Years went by and the brothers forgot the omens. Until one day, the eldest was hosting a party, got outrageously drunk, and while he was attempting to pee in his garden he tripped and drowned in his koi pond. The two remaining brothers chalked it up to bad luck. The eldest had always partied too hard. So they went on with their lives, none the wiser as to the significance of the eldest's watery death.

Months go by and the middle brother, who had turned into a bit of a gourmet, was having a bananas foster flambéed tableside. As the flames roared, one of the waitstaff slipped in some water on the floor and fell into the portable stove, sending it, the flaming bananas foster, and the bottle of whiskey she'd been carrying onto the brother who burst into flames.

At the funeral the youngest, and now sole, brother contemplated his brothers' misfortune. He remembered the omens and decided to take precautions.

He built an underground fortress. Outfitted it with water pumps meant to keep battleships aflot, the worlds most advance fire suppression systems, surveillance that would thwart Tom Cruise, and the best private security he could buy. Months went by, he even began to feel safe again.

Then, the alarms went off. He turned on the security feed in his room and saw guards running as fast as their legs could carry them. He heard the BOOM BOOM BOOM of something large approaching, but the feed cut out before it appeared on screen. The booms continued, never stopping, never slowing, even as the gun fire and explosions from his security teams were silenced. He peeked through the window in his door, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever was attacking him.

A great stone coffin descended down the stairs. The brother slammed the window shut, grabbed his gun, and pulled a pin from a grenade he kept at his bedside. The booms got louder until they reached his door and with a single almighty crash the 2000 lb metal door was sent flying across the room. The brother tossed the grenade into the hallway and dove into his bathroom. It didn't stop the coffin, and it lurched closer and closer. He emptied his clip at it, and accomplishing nothing he began throwing everything within reach in pure desperation. Having exhausted his improvised ammo, he grabbed the very last thing he could find, a bottle of Nyquil in his medicine cabinet, and threw it with all his might. The bottle shattered on the approaching obelisk, and finally, blessedly the coffin stopped.