9. Explains the rustling sound in the background as him going into his little black bag. The truth: brown paper bag and Mad Dog 20/20.
8. Photographic evidence of her home gynecological exam is all over the internet.
7. "Bilirubin? Didn't he sing with the Beatles???"
6. Backs up all his pharmacological advice with references to Cheech & Chong.
5. Most recommended cures involve chants, candles and fresh chicken blood.
4. After administering medicine she asks, "did I say that was oral or anal?"
3. Tries to use the show to plug his panacea, "Crackicillin."
2. Just introduced a new line of home colonoscopy and prostate surgery kits.
1. Insists that your heart bypass operation will go well as long as the surgeon doesn't trigger the red nose light and buzzer.
[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
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