The Top 17 Indications Your Family May Be Dysfunctional

17> New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your
family.


16> Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA.


15> Your mother and your preteen sister always fighting over the
last beer.


14> In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch.


13> Bikers next door always complaining about the noise.


12> Local police save money by making your house a precinct
substation.


11> Brother is writing nostalgic screenplay, "A Menendez Family
Christmas."


10> Your new little sister is named after a famous serial killer.


 9> Holidays usually celebrated by sniffing glue and
kicking a toaster around the house.


 8> Your son informs you he doesn't care to be your
cellmate anymore.


 7> You have to buy separate Mother's Day cards for
each of Mom's personalities.


 6> Family discussions usually begin with, "Put the gun
down."


 5> You *finally* get your work published in a major
newspaper and your rat-bastard brother sics the Feds on you.


 4> Instead of saying grace before dinner, father reads
a passage from Penthouse Forum.


 3> Thanksgiving Dinner consists of Wild Turkey instead
of roast turkey.


 2> Didn't make today's Top 5 List?  Dad holds
ya, Mom beats ya.


 1> No more sunny breakfast nook now that kitchen is a
meth lab.


            
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