The Top 17 Headlines in Animal Newspapers (Part I)

17> Store Finally Sets Price on Window Doggie


16> Salamander Planned Parenthood: "No Newts Is Good Newts!"


15> Hindenburg Crashes: "Oh, the Pigeonity!"


14> Administration Unable to Locate Bones Allegedly Buried in Terrier's Yard


13> Missing Ant Colony Found in Pants


12> Survey: Let Timmy Get His Own Ass Out of Well


11> New Study Links Leg-Humping to Being Put Outside


10> Widow Devours Husband in Poisonous Web of Deceit


9> Weekly Outbreaks of Bird-on-Bird Violence Continue as Eagles Beat Ravens and Falcons Pummel Seahawks


8> President Bonzo Accuses Rivals of Poo-Flinging Campaign


7> Mr. Ed to Be Next Mare? Voters Say Neigh!


6> Study: Desire for Pussy Causes Late-Night Howling


5> Bitch Leaves Newborns Behind Dumpster


4> Johnnie Cockapoo Tells Montecore Jury: "For Biting the Twit, You Can't Convict!"


3> Canine Honeymoon Dampened by Garden Hose


2> Hamster Offers Details of Spinning "Torture Chamber"


1> Huey, Louie, Dewey Defeat Truman


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[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]