The Top 16 Signs You Have March Madness

16> At dinner you form your mashed potatoes and asparagus into
brackets.


15> You've taken to referring to your youngest child as a
"fourth seed."


14> Instead of an "Amen!" you give the preacher a "Yeah, baby!"


13> Breakfast starts with a bracket of 64 Cheerios -- losers are
eaten, winners move on.  Of course, in the end even the
Champion Cheerio gets to visit StomachLand.


12> In honor of Bobby Knight, you choke the chicken with both
hands.


11> You've actually started praying again.


10> You're 5'8" with a hefty paunch and lead feet, yet you think
you've got enough "madd skillz" to take on all comers down at the South
Side Y.


 9> In a moment of weakness, you tell your barber,
"Give me the Dickie V."


 8> "Dad, I got accepted to Harvard!"  "Who?"


 7> You demanded that the rehearsal dinner be at a
sports bar.


 6> "I have March Madness!" sounds marginally better
than "I let the 'Girls Gone Wild' photographer buy me 14 tequila
shooters at South Padre."


 5> You call it a "backcourt violation," but your wife
calls it perverted.


 4> You just voted to give the federal courts
jurisdiction to reinsert Wake Forest into the tournament.


 3> Huge tattoos of John Philip Sousa on both ass
cheeks.


 2> Before climbing to the top of the clock tower, you
festively paint the bullets in the team colors.


 1> Wanting to stay home and watch the games all day
Thursday and Friday, but not wanting to tell your boss a lie about a
death in the family, you're faced with a dilemma: which
grandparent to murder.


            
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