The Top 16 Real Statistics That We Made Up

16> Number of dentists not intimidated by the powerful Trident lobbying committee: 1 out of 5


15> Recommended average inflation pressure for TopFive contributor dates: 100 PSI


Average ACTUAL inflation pressure for TopFive contributor dates: 150 PSI


14> Percentage of "very special episodes" on "Blossom": 82%


13> Number of votes by which George W. Bush carried Florida:


862 +/- 9301


12> Amount of time it takes the average office worker to ALT+TAB from HoochieWorld.com to an Excel spreadsheet: .052 seconds


11> Ratio of Cheney arterial blockage to Bush synaptic blockage: 1 to 1


10> Chances that Suzi, newly added to your ICQ list, is actually female: 62%


9> Lifespan of a $45 bouquet of anniversary roses: Two FRIGGIN' days


8> Probability of the new U.S. President doing his Tom Cruise dancing in his Jockies in "Risky Business" impersonation in the Oval Office before 2004: One-hundred-percentiary, dude!


7> Probability that anything will happen when you walk into a room and flick the wall switch:


98% (nationwide)


46% (California)


6> The amount of time Anna Nicole Smith has used up so far: 14 minutes, 59.7 seconds


5> Most frequent odors encountered when meeting Jesse Helms: Tobacco, Brut, Brimstone, Ham


4> Percentage of Americans who have difficulty grasping mathematical concepts: Purple


3> Exact number of dots on the office ceiling at my lousy-ass, dead-end job: 36,783


2> Odds of making the top 5 list without first introducing Chris White to some crisp Franklins: 1 in 104,376


1> Number of Supreme Court justices it takes to screw in a dim bulb: 5


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]


[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]