15. My love for you... it came and went. So your feet are now in wet cement.
14. I'm here To fulfill your fondest wishes Now that your husband sleeps with the fishes.
13. Lie down with me -- it's my final offa, Or you'll be lying wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
12. I picked up this card from a slim selection But that's all they offer here in witness protection. Love, J. Doe
11. I've waited so long for you to be mine. Now that Sinatra's dead, be *my* Valentine.
10. Be my Valentine, and we can do it execution-style.
9. Cinderella got her fella, with a slipper made of glass; So please be mine, Valentine, or I'll have to whack your ass.
8. Violets are blue, roses are red, I blew up your car -- So why ain't you dead?
7. The day we met, my little pet, I knew with just one look You'd bear a son, and now that's done, So shut your mouth and cook!
6. Hey.
5. Youse da greatest. Youse da best. But you're as untouchable as Elliot Ness.
4. Lust is fleeting, true love lingers. Be mine always and you'll keep your fingers.
3. Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know, dis ain't really what a guy's heart looks like.
2. Valentine, Dear, lend me a hand So I won't be a self-made man.
1. When a goon makes you die, Cuz you told him goodbye -- that's amore!
[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
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