Tips to Successfull Dating

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret those hidden signs:1. Women won't unlock car door for men - Doesn't engage in oral sex2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman - no foreplay3. Can't hail a cab - impotent4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - prefers virgins5. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way - is a virgin6. Insists on going to a romantic, candlelit restaurant - Compulsive Don Juan7. Insists in going to a homey little cafe with windmill motif - Compulsive Don Quixote8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar - Compulsive Don Ho9. Wants to go to a French Restaurant - will swallow10. Wants to go to a deli -won't swallow11. Uses Sweet n' Low - wearing falsies12. Takes too long deciding what to order - has trouble reaching orgasm13. Orders salad dressing on the side - will give you a hand job but won't go 'all the way'14. Gives explicit orders to waiter - will expect incredibly skilled gymnastics in bed15. Asks for extra rolls - will say she's using birth control when she's not, will get pregnant and sue16. Insists on ordering for you, refering to you as 'the lady will have...' - thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't17. Asks for the 'usual' - Insists on missionary position only18. Asks what the specials are - will want you to use handcuffs19. Fills up on bread and crackers - premature ejaculator20. Doesn't finish everything on plate - has already come21. Insists on having some of whatever you ordered - will make you sleep on wet spot22. Changes mind after ordering - will never call you23. Changes tables - nymphomaniac24. Drinks decaf - fakes orgasms (female)25. Orders in French - fakes orgasms (male)26. Sends food back - will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, then try to borrow money27. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts - needs you to talk dirty during sex28. Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers - wants a handjob29. Orders a dessert involving nuts - castrating bitch30. Wants to split dessert - is dying to get rid of her apartment, move in with you, rearrange all your closets, and take down all your baseball posters31. Credit card is refused - low sperm count32. Undertips waiter - small penis33. Undertips parking valet - small penis34. Undertips cabbie - small penis35. Uses toothpick - is trying to tell you size isin't everything36. Removable cassette player in car - pulls out repeatedly during sex37. Cellular phone in car - penile implant