15> He's favored 10-1 to take this year's Kentucky Derby, even though he's not a horse.
14> Was badly injured during the pole vault when he hit a helicopter.
13> Sent to track down Barry's last home-run ball, the Verizon guy hasn't been heard from in weeks.
12> Swims the English channel -- in a single breath.
11> Clearing a path for her last stone, the broom caught fire just before she brushed a hole clean through the ice.
10> Maria Shriver is dangling from his biceps.
9> His latest tattoo is a life-size reproduction of the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
8> He's already shattered 84 chess clocks this year.
7> Routinely checks the Zamboni into the boards.
6> Helga would have set a record in the 40-yard dash had she not tripped on her penis.
5> His once-weak backhand now rivals James Brown's.
4> Made the diamonds in his Super Bowl ring himself by clenching charcoal between his buttocks.
3> Surreptitious nut-scratching in the dugout involves a belt sander.
2> When not competing, he uses his javelin to go duck hunting.
1> She goes on rampages every month in which she becomes irrational, uncontrollable and dangerously volatile. What other explanation could there be?
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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