The Top 15 Disclaimers Found on Toy Boxes (Part II)


15> No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.


14> For children ages 4-10, or really wasted adults.


13> Not to be confused with "Poke You Man" by Adult Inflatable Products, Ltd.


12> Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.


11> Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.


10> Failure to fall immediately to your knees in gratitude and eternally thank parents for shelling out $400 and waiting in line behind a smelly woman from Jersey City for two hours to *get* your Sega Dreamcast -- especially when you've already got a Playstation and a box full of games that are now headed for the next garage sale -- may result in bodily injury.


9> Syringe and vaccine sold separately.


8> Do not stare at product. Hey! You're doing it now! Cut that out!!


7> In case of breakage, scream until dad buys a replacement.


6> Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.


5> For eternal use only.


4> For best results, consume hard liquor prior to assembly.


3> Talk to your doctor before using Xenical Barbie. Xenical Barbie not intended for children less than 20% above their ideal weight. Discontinue use if oily leakage occurs.


2> Replacement blades and toes not included.


1> Warning: Although technically a game, Parcheesi sucks.


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]


[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

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