The Top 15 Backhanded Compliments (Part I)

15> "I can't believe you can fit into such a small Speedo, Bob!"


14> "Most guys think they *have* to have a cool car -- but not you."


13> "A bright red mini-dress! You really have tons of confidence in your inner beauty."


12> "You really make me feel intelligent -- especially when you talk."


11> "Look at how much weight you've lost! That dress didn't fit you nearly as well at that last wedding you wore it to."


10> "Not only do you dance surprisingly well, you *smell* better than most ugly chicks."


9> "Great sermon, Father! That loud part at the end was a real wake-up call!"


8> "Wow! For a first-time sexual encounter, that was refreshingly speedy!"


7> "Now, now, it's just as important to stay behind and guard the women and children."


6> "It's nice that you can wear tight jeans without that unsightly bulge in the crotch that most men have."


5> "I've never seen a man chug so many chardonnays."


4> "No, really -- compared to Grenada, Afghanistan and Somalia, you Iraqi Army guys kick *ass.*"


3> "What I like about your toupee is it says, 'Hey, I have better things to spend my money on!'"


2> "You have 10 cats?!? Wow, it only smells like three or four."


1> "Okay, let's try it. One that size can't possibly be painful."


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[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]