The Top 14 Signs You're at a Bad Air Show


14. It's running way behind schedule after 2 1/2 hours of blimp stunt flying.


13. While loop-de-looping over the audience, the "Amazing Olestra Wingwalker" leaves some accidental "vapor trails."


12. Highlight of show is flyover by TelStar Model XC29-3 Communications Satellite .


11. The only Stealth Bomber is someone in the crowd who obviously had a burrito for lunch.


10. You're watching the show from a ski-gondola in the Italian Alps.


9. "Blue Angels" run around the runway with their arms out in a line making motor noises with their lips.


8. Low-flying daredevil aerobatics accompanied by the lilting strains of "Rocky Mountain High."


7. For the kids: free balloon rides with master balloonist Steve Fossett.


6. Hey! Is that a rope around Peter Pan's waist?


5. Final score: Girl Scout Skeet Shooting Team 3, Blue Angels 0


4. "Fifi the Wing-Walking Poodle" has tell-tale nail holes in her feet.


3. Skywriting exhibition consists of the letter "I" and a lower case "l".


2. "Stealth fighter" exhibit looks suspiciously like an empty field.


1. "Flying Tigers" show turns out to be 37 stray kittens and a catapult.


[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]


[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ]

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