1960, Alaska is now a state. A Texan moves up to Alaska determined to be a citizen of the largest state in the union. He walks into the first bar in Juneau and shouts "All right, I'm going to be an Alaskan! You there, Barkeep, I'm going to be an Alaskan! What do I have to do to become an Alaskan!"
"Ah, er... well you have to drink a gallon of Alaskan ale, of course."
"ONE GALLON OF ALASKAN ALE! I'M GOING TO BE AN ALASKAN!" shouts the Texan.
The bartender pours out the measures of ale and gives them to the Texan, who drains them all in seconds. "ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO BE AN ALASKAN! WHAT ELSE?"
"You have to shoot a grizzly bear!" pipes a nearby patron.
"And... and you have to fuck the sheriff's wife!" says another.
"ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO BE AN ALASKAN!" Shouts the Texan, slams his payment on the bar and kicks the door open on his way out.
The bartender and the patrons chuckle shaking their heads and go back to their drinks.
To their surprise, 4 hours later the Texan walks through the doors, his clothes all ripped and bloodied, his cowboy hat mangled on his head, but fire still in his eyes and determination in his step.
"ALL RIGHT I'M GOING TO BE AN ALASKAN!
NOW WHERE'S THE SHERIFF'S WIFE I'M SUPPOSED TO SHOOT?"
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