The Panda

A huge panda bear steps into this classy restaurant. The maitre
is both astonished and amused; nonetheless, he is a man who
takes pride on doing his job right and sends a waiter its way.


The panda asks for some of the best dishes of the house: filet
mignon, lobster, duck a l'orange, soup a l'onion gratinee, the
whole nine yards. Then, as it finishes, it steps up and turns to
leave without paying for the gargantuan fest.


"Sir, exactly where do you think you are going?" Asks the upset
maitre. The panda turns around, not completely sure he
understands. "The meals you were served are still to be paid
for." "Paid for?" Sneers the panda. "I belong to an endangered
species; you should take this a service to nature and
biodiversity." "This is a restaurant. RESTAURANT! We feed you
and you pay for it. That is the way it works. Look it up in a
dictionary if you want to!"


To his surprise, the panda brings up a dictionary from between
his skin folds and reads, "Restaurant: a business establishment
where meals or refreshments may be bought. Hmmm. But even if
you're right," the panda says as it brings up a .357 Smith &
Wesson and shoots the maitre on his leg an runs away, "I'm a
panda. Look it up in the dictionary if you want to!"


Later on, at the hospital, the injured maitre remembers what the
panda said and asks for a dictionary to look for the word
"panda." It read: "Panda: a large black-and-white mammal of
chiefly central China now usually classified with the bears.
Eats shoots and leaves."