The Logician

Two men were sitting in a bar one night looking over at a well dressed man standing at the opposite end of the bar. One of the men said "I bet he's a Doctor" whilst the other man says "I bet he's a Lawyer".

Eventually one of the men decides to go and ask him, otherwise it will bug them all night. He goes over to the man and introduces himself.

"Hi there, me and my friend were just wondering what you do for a living"

The man says "I'm a Logician"

Man: A Logician?

Logician: Yes, I use logic to find things out about people.

Man: Ah I see! Could you try it on me?

Logician: Ok, firstly, do you have a goldfish?

Man: Yes I do.

Logician: Well logic would tell me that you either keep it in a tank or a pond, which is it?

Man: A pond.

Logician: Well logic would tell me that by having a pond, you must have quite a large garden.

Man: Yes it's a decent size.

Logician: Well logic would tell me that if you have a big garden, you must have quite a large house?

Man: Yes I've got a 4 bedroom house in a nice area of town.

Logician: Well logic would tell me that with a big house and a big garden, you must drive a nice car?

Man: Yes I drive a nice Mercedes.

Logician: Well logic would tell me that with a nice car, big house and big garden that you have an attractive wife?

Man: Yes, she is beautiful, blonde hair and big breasts, perfect

Logician: Well logic would tell me that with a pretty wife, a big car, a big house and big garden, that you have a good sex life?

Man: Yep! 4 nights a week at least!

Logician: Well logic would tell me that with a good sex life, an attractive wife, a nice car, a big house and a big garden, you don't masturbate very often?

Man: No, never!

Logician: Well there we go, that is what I do. By asking you the simple question of if you owned a goldfish, I have been able to determine everything about you from your house size to your sex life!

Man: Wow, that's amazing. Thanks for explaining to me what it is you do, it was very interesting!

The man makes his way back to his friend, who is now very intrigued about what the man does.

"So, what does he do then"?

"He's a Logician"

"What the hell is a Logician"?

"Well let me ask you this, do you own a goldfish"?

"No"

"You're a wanker then"!