The King and his donkey? Father Murphy tried that too...

[BringItOnFellas' previous version here](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2dru6u/a_king_enrolled_his_donkey_in_a_race_and_won/)

Father Murphy's parish was always scratching for the mortgage payment, until one day he came up with a plan: they would buy a racehorse, enter it in a few races down at the track, and see if they could win some money. The council agreed, the hat was passed, and the good Father went to the next horse auction.

Unfortunately, Father Murphy didn't actually know much about horses, so he thought he got a good deal on the short one with the long ears. He fed it some grain and a few carrots, and entered it in the next Saturday's races.

It came in third, and the Sunday paper reported, "Father Murphy's ass shows." And the Archbishop was NOT pleased.

Based on that success, the Father fed the donkey some grain and a few carrots and entered it in the next week's race. For reasons unknown, the little donkey WON his race, and the Sunday paper reported, "Father Murphy's ass out front!" And the Archbishop shouted at Father Murphy for two whole hours on Monday.

Undeterred (and rather pleased with his financial success so far), Father Murphy laid low for a week but fed the donkey some grain and a few carrots and entered it in the following week's races. The competition was a little tougher, he finished second, and the Sunday paper reported, "Father Murphy's ass back in place." And the Archbishop was nothing short of furious.

Father Murphy continued his parish's little "side enterprise" yet another week, but this time the Archbishop caught word of it, contacted the track manager, and had the donkey removed from the race. Knowing that their readers would want to know, the Sunday paper reported, "Archbishop scratches Father Murphy's ass." And the Archbishop was apoplectic.

So the Archbishop, in no uncertain terms, ORDERED Father Murphy to cease and desist, and to get rid of the donkey. Father Murphy took the animal back to the horse auction, but based on his reputation the donkey fetched $4000, which Father Murphy dutifully put back in the church's bank. Knowing that their readers would want to know, the Sunday paper reported, "Father Murphy peddles his ass for four thousand dollars!"

They buried the Archbishop three days later.