There once was a man who had been in a depressed state for months. His dog that he'd had since childhood ran away, his fiancé ran off the day before their wedding with a woman, he was working a job that was totally unfulfilling, and his house was robbed and his most valuable possesions were plundered.
One day, he decided to just end his meaningless existence. He wished to kill himself in the most painful way he could think of. That night, he drove to the zoo, which was closed at that time. The guy simply climbed over the gate at the entrance, unknowingly alerting the half-drunk security officer who was sitting in the ticket window. The man walked over and found the pit where the vicious lions resided. He stood on the edge of the pit and prepared to jump. Before he could, the security officer from before arrived with back-up.
He raised his gun and shouted, "Stop, or we'll shoot!!"
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