Spider Tim

One day Tim was riding his car down the empty New York street.
Seeing the street being empty, Tim sped up. Little did he know
that there was a car about to cross the street. Tim crashed and
was killed...


Tim then awoke from his sleep only to find him self in the sky
with clouds all around. Tim was scared and confused, he then
called out, "Hello?!" Tim waited a moment, then a deep GREAT
voice said, "WHO ARE YOU?" Tim said, "I'm Tim...who are YOU?"
The voice said, "I AM GOD!"


"God?...that means I'm..."
"YES TIM...YOU ARE DEAD, BUT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD YET
TIM...NOT FOR FIVE MORE YEARS."
"Really?...so can I go back then?"
"OF COURSE YOU CAN TIM."
"But God, look at me I'm all bloody...Hey! Where's my arm?!"
"TIM, CALM DOWN, I SHALL TURN YOU INTO A SPIDER."
"A spider?!"
"A SPIDER AND ONLY A SPIDER!!!!!"
"Ok. Ok. I agree, god."


Poof! God turned him into a spider


"Now what god?"
God said, "Squeeze your ass. Do this...MMMMMMM!!"
"Push?"
"YES WHEN YOU DO THIS..MMMMMM! YOUR SPIDER WEB SHALL COME OUT."
"Ok God.........MMMMMMMMMMMM!" *POP!* and Tim was now spitting
out spider wed from his ass


"NOW TIM GO DOWN TO EARTH USING YOUR SPIDER WEB."
And so Tim pushed and pushed and he was going down to earth nice
and calmly while doing this MMMMMMMMMMMM!


Then suddenly Tim heard his wife's voice, "WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
YOU'RE TAKING A SHIT ON THE BED TIM!!"