And he starts off "Yeah, so listen, it was crazy right? I got laid off from my job, and when I got home, my wife had taken all my stuff and moved out. She left some note, said she was done with me. What could I do? So I'm sitting there in my empty house, realizing my life has come down around me, and I say, right here, 'Screw this, I make my own luck' and I decide to drive to Vegas and bet away whatever is left in my bank account before my soon to be ex-wife empties it out."
"So I pull into the Bellagio's parking lot, and, okay, this is going to sound silly, but it happened right, there's this frog. Just sitting there, in the parking lot. I figured maybe a kid dropped it or something, who knows. I was about to ignore it when suddenly I heard 'rib-bit! pick me up!' I stopped and turned to look at it and again "rib-bit! take me with you!" So, im weirded the hell out. It's a goddamn talking frog. I thought I was going crazy, but hell, maybe I was, I was already in Vegas to blow away everything I had left in the world, so I picked up the frog, put it in my pocket, and walked into the casino to try and enjoy myself."
"Now right when I walked past the roulette table, the frog yells out 'rib-bet! black 21!' I stop for a second, realizing my sanity is barely hanging on, and it says it again 'rib-bit! Black 21!" Okay, what have I got to lose, the frog seems to think Black 21 was a good bet, and it is a talking frog right? So I put my all the cash in my wallet on Black 21. And son of a bitch, I won!. And here's the thing, this goes on all night. the damn frog calls out numbers at the roulette table, when to hit and stay at black jack, and I can't lose! I made so much money, I take my winnings, and decide to rent the nicest suite in the whole hotel for the night."
"So I get up to my room, the penthouse, put the frog on the bed, cause, hell, he earned it for all the help right, and walk to the window to stare at the city. then suddenly 'Rib-bit! Kiss me!' I turned, and said 'huh, what?' and the frog said it again 'rib-bit! kiss me!' Okay, so the talking frog I found which somehow helped me magically win at gambling all night wanted me to kiss it. You know, I guess I owed it that much, one little kiss as gratitude. So I bend over, give it a light kiss on the bed, and BAM! the frog turns into a beautiful 15 year old girl, just lying there in the bed!"
"So anyway, thats how she ended up in my room your Honor."
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