So a bloke got his dick shot off in some horrendous accident and he goes to the doctor in an attempt to get some kind of replacement

He walks in and explains to the doctor that he'd like to have functioning genitalia again.

The doctor's eyes light up and he says "you're in luck! We have a new treatment for men such as yourself!"

"What we do is we take the trunk from a baby elephant and graft it in place of your original equipment. It works well"

The bloke paused and then said "yep, sign me up".

The procedure was completed and the patient went down to the local pub to show off his new tockley.

So, he's sitting at the table talking it up and one of the boys says, "give us a demonstration"

So, he unzips his pants and out comes the trunk. It snatches a bread roll from the table and it quickly retracts.

Do it again! Say all the boys at the table. So, once more the trunk comes out and a bread roll is disappeared.

Again, they cry.

Nah, sorry fellas - I don't think I can fit any more bread rolls up me arse!