Sick Jokes

1. whats 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? crib death
2. where do you find dogs with no legs? right where you left it
3. whats red orange and looks good on dead babies? fire
4. how do you get retards out of trees? wave at them
5. how could a protistute mom tell her daughter was on her period? he could taste the blood from the little boy arcross the streets dick
6. whats the best part about losing your keys to go in your car? its on fire and all the doors are locked and your babys in there
7. whats the difference between a women and a hoover? hoovers suck all the things through
8. how could you tell your friends dead? theres a funeral across the street where you suck childrens dicks
9. how do you stop your cat from meowing? fuck it in the ass
10. why did the baby get ran over? it was his fault playing near the wheels
11. whats the worst part about losing your keys that go in your car? you had to go and pick up the girls from the abortion clinic

12. how do you make a emo cry? cut his dick off
13. why did the jew cross the road? to get away from the nazis
14. how could you tell your friend ate something? you can see he went to the aids bake sale
15. whats that smell? my dick
16. what do you say to a brunette when shes drunk? hey can i suck everything out of your vagina
17. whats the difference between a woman and a blanket? a blanket goes over you to keep you warm
18. why did the woman get embarrassed? cause she was naked
19. why is driving your car like having a piss on your toilet? you have to keep filling up your car if you want to get anywhere
20. how do you stop a cancer boy from talking? wet his lips and stick him to the wall
21. how do you kill a hundred diabetic kids? blow up their van
22. what does a mountian climber and a young lad having a blowjob from his grandma have in common? neither look down
23. whats the difference between a clown and a 6 year old? you can dress up a child as a clown (omgz so violent)
24. why do tampons have strings? so you can floss after eating
25. whats the difference between a woman and a bottle? you put bottles in your mouth and let the water come into your mouth
26. why do women wear makeup and perfume? cause they're ugly and they stink
27. why is pizza like having a blowjob? you put pizza in your mouth (ew)
28. how do you stop a bitch from jumping on your bed? drag it to the kitchen and keep slaping her
29. whats the difference between nelson mandela and masturbating? nothing
(:o omg so sick)
30. why is a teddy like a penis? it gets shooved down a little boys throat by a pedophile
31. why is a blonde like spaghetti? they both squrim when you eat them
32. what is a pornstars favorite food? chicken strips
33. whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old? eric clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out the window
34. do you ever have sex while camping? its fucking intents
35. what do you call a blind dinosaur? doyouthinkhesaurus
36. whats the difference between my gun and my dick? i dont shove my gun down a little girls throat
37. what does bread and autisic children have in common? they both have needs
38. why did tigger go to the toilet? he had to look for pooh
39. why are men like commericals? you cant believe at what they say
40. why are splinters better than women? splinters go away
41. whats the difference between a woman and a bicycle? if you want to get to work you have to keep pumping your bike
42. why arent there black people in history? cause spray paint wasnt invented untill 1949
43. how was racism created? they made black and white tv
44. why are orphans never? invited to barbacues? they dont know how to get there
45. why arent there any mexican santas? cause one only uses their lawnmower
46. why isnt there any black jews? they have to sit at the back of the oven
47. why did the black man cross the road? to get to kfc
48. why do jews have big noses? cause the air is free
49. why do jewish people like to watch hooker movies backwards? they like it when the prostitute gives the money back
50. how many disabled kids can you fit in a car? none they're in wheelchairs

if you have a sick or offensive joke leave it in the comments below