Shower like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor.


2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her your tackle making the 'woo' sound.


3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your dick in the mirror, scratch your balls and smell your fingers for one last whiff.


4. Get in the shower.


5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).


6. Wash your face.


7. Wash your armpits.


8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.


9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.


10. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar.


11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).


12. Make a shampoo Mohawk on top of your head.


13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.


14. Pee (in the shower).


15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.


16. Partially dry off.


17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire dick size.


18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.


19. Leave bathroom and fan light on.


20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your dick, go 'Yeah baby' and thrust your pelvis at her.


21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take two minutes to get dressed.