Right in the Middle

One fine morning, an Italian man came from work and visited his local shoe fitting store.

"Ahh, Mr. Lambini, so, what would you like? I've many choices for a man of your standing." said the store owner.

Looking around, Lambini walked around around the store for a while until he stopped in front a variety of men's boots.

The owner walked over, "In need of assistance, good sir?"

"Yes, I cannot reach-a the top-a shoes. Can you use-a the ladder over-a there?"

"Not a problem."

Using the ladder, he reached the top, but Mr. Lambini didn't specify which shoe he wanted.

"Umm," Lambini pondered, "The shoe that's not too much-a black, not too much-a white, but just-a in between."

The owner stepped down with a brown shoe in hand.

Lambini tried to fit the shoe on his foot, but then he exclaimed,

"Is-a too tight, you know? I wanna shoe that isn't-a too small, not-a too big, but one that's just-a right."

The owner took the shoe from Lambini, went to the back to search for a fitting shoe. He took a while, because Lambini's request lacked adequate information, such as his foot-size.

He came back with a pair, which Lambini immediately took and fitted.

"This is-a perfect! How much-a you want?"

"$350, sir." the owner said.

"What? I'mma not gonna pay for that! I wanna shoe like this, but not-a too expensive, not-a too cheap, but just one I can afford."

The owner was frustrated by Lambini's way of speaking, so he blurted out,

"You know what, sir. Why don't you kiss-a my ass? Not-a too much to the left, not-a too much to the right, but just-a right in the middle."