Quickies


Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?


A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.


Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?


A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.


Q: What's the speed limit of sex?


A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.


Q: What's the ultimate rejection?


A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.


Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?


A: Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"


Q: Why is air a lot like sex?


A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.


Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?


A: K9P.


Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?


A: "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."


Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?


A: If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.


Q: What's another name for pickled bread?


A: Dill-dough


Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?


A: He heard the snowblower coming.

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