Punch Lines Did you hear abou that new pirate movie? It's rated arrrrrrrrr... How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears? A buck an ear! Aaaarrr! The radiation belts surrounding the earth were discovered almost simultaneously by Van Allen and another scientist named Fan. Van Allen published first, or else the earth would have a Fan Belt. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But put him in a car and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window. In difficult moments, behave like a duck. Keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but keep paddling away like crazy underneath. Everything in excess. Moderation is for monks. What's the difference between a King's son, a monkey's mother, a bald head, and an orphan? One's an heir apparent, the next is a hairy parent, the next has no hair apparent, and the last has nary a parent. One way for a husband to learn about do-it-yourself is to criticize his wife's housekeeping.
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.