Practicing on the Old Oak Tree

On his 13th birthday, a boy says to his father, "Dad, I'm 13 now, and I think I'm old enough to be with a woman."

"Son, you're not ready yet, but I want you to practice everyday on the old oak tree in the yard. You'll be ready soon."

On his 16th birthday, the boy says to his father, "Dad, I've been practicing everyday on the old oak tree, just like you said, and I think I'm ready to be with a women now."

"No son, not yet, but you keep practicing on the old oak tree. You'll be ready soon."

The boy's 18th birthday arrives.

"Dad, I'm a man now, and I've been practicing on the old oak tree every day for five years. I know I'm ready for a woman."

"You're right son. Today's the day. She's upstairs waiting for you. Happy birthday!"

The boy smiles and runs upstairs as his dad chuckles to himself. All of a sudden he hears a blood curdling woman's scream. He runs upstairs and throws open his son's door. The woman is lying naked, spread-eagle on the bed. His son is standing over her with a broomstick jammed in her vagina.

"My god son, what are you doing?!"

"Just checking for squirrels, dad."