One day...

...a boy hears his parents having this huge arguement, so he eavesdrops on them the moment the mother called the father an 'asshole' and the father called the mother a 'bitch.' Being a confused 8 year old boy who had never heard these slurs before, he asked his parents about their meaning, and the parents, not wanting to teach their kid curses at such a young age, told him that they meant 'ladies' and 'gentlemen,' respectively.

The next day, the parents are busy engaging in rough, sensual coitus, with the kid, of course, eavesdropping. The mother yells "give me your dick!" and the father replies "your pussy feels so soft!" The child inquired as to what these words mean post-intercourse, and the parents, unbeknownst to them that the boy eavesdropped, casually told him that they meant 'hats' and 'coats.'

The next day was thanksgiving, so the mother was preparing a turkey, she was cutting open the turkey when she accidentaly cut herself, so she, of course, yelled out 'FUCK!' The curious boy once again asked what this word meant, and the mother replied that it was the act of stuffing the turkey. Soon, the boy went upstairs to use the bathroom, and the father was there shaving his beard when he accidentally cut himself as well, so he naturally yelled out 'SHIT!' You can guess what the boy asked, and the father replied that it meant the shaving cream around his face.

An hour later, guests arrived outside and the kid went to answer the door. Upon seeing the guests, he greeted them the best way he knew how.
"Hello bitches and assholes! Put your dicks and pussys in the living room, my parents will see you shortly, my mom is busy fucking the turkey and my dad is wiping the shit off his face!"