A guy is driving down the highway and realizes he needs to take a shit. He squats on the side of the road, does his thing and is pulling up his pants when he sees a cop car coming. He quickly covers the shit with a hat from his car, and the officer stops and asks what he's doing.
"I caught an Upi bird," he says.
"What's an Upi bird?" The cop asks?
"The fastest bird alive man, and its under my hat. I need help grabbing it so I can sell it to the zoo."
"Alright," the cop says. "Lift the hat and I'll grab it."
The guy lifts the hat and the cop claps down on the big pile of shit and it flies all over him.
Licking his lips, the cop says, "God damn, that bird had time to take that big of a shit and I *still* couldn't catch him!"
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