One of my Dad's favourite jokes.

A man goes to a restaurant and orders the soup.

Shortly after he begins to eat, he drops his spoon. Immediately, his waiter appears and pulls a brand new spoon out of his pocket. The man is impressed.

"It's lucky you had a spoon on you," he remarks.

"Oh, no, we all carry spoons," said the man. "The owner of the place is German and he insists that we are all efficient as possible. By carrying spoons with us, we reduce trips to the kitchen and can spend more time waiting on customers."

The diner is even more impressed.

After the meal, while leaving a tip, he sees the waiter walk past. Discreetly, he grabs the waiter and murmurs, "Sorry, son, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The waiter replies, "Yes, we all do. Another efficiency measure. We used to each spend a minute or more washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the owner gave us all strings to tie to the end of our penises. When we need to go, we simply pull the string to get it out and then return to work. See, if we don't touch ourselves, we don't need to wash our hands, and we can spend less time in the men's room and more time waiting on the customers."

"Huh," says the diner. "But wait a minute. How do you get it back in your pants?"

"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use my spoon."