The man sees this brightly colored parrot on display, but there's a problem, the store owner tells the man. You see, this parrot's last owner was a foul-mouth, and the bird's vocabulary is crude, to say the least.
But the man is lonely, and his life is boring. The parrot might spice things up, and the man thinks it would be a challenge to reform the bird. So he buys the bird and brings it home.
"Fucking dive," the bird observes as soon as he's through the man's front door.
"Pretty bird," the man coos, trying to teach the bird a new, kind word
"Fuck me," the bird replies.
The man has the bird for a few days, and he tries and he tries, but the bird just won't stop cursing.
Finally, one sad, lonely night, the man is looking through his nigh empty freezer for dinner, pondering one last dubious leg of chicken.
"Fatass," the bird mocks him.
"Shut up," the man testily replies.
"Empty fridge, still a fatass," the bird continues.
"Shut up!" the man yells, red-faced with anger.
"Pretty bird," the bird sarcastically replies.
That's it. The man's had enough. He snaps the bird up and throws him in the open freezer.
"Shitty bird!" the man yells, and slams the freezer door close. Catharsis is total.
The muffled curses and squawks of the bird goes on for a minute or two, while the man gradually cools off and reconsiders how much he might have overreacted.
The commotion in the freezer ceases. Absolute quiet descends.
The man has an attack of conscience, opens the freezer. Out walks a very calm but unharmed parrot. The bird shakes little ice particles from his feathers.
"Are you all right?" the man asks.
"Yes, thank you," the bird replies. The bird looks up at the man. "Sir, I believe I have offended you with my crass language and total lack of respect. You have taken me into your home out of the kindness of your heart, and I have sullied it with my words. I beg your forgiveness."
The man is shocked. He can't even finds words.
"Sir," the parrot asks. "Might I inquire to what the chicken did?"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.