My Grandpa's Story

My Grandpa used to drive big rigs from Western New York out to Los Angeles during the depression. He often told us the story of how he once was driving through backwoods Nebraska. He had to pull over to relieve himself so he got out of his rig and stepped into a field. He kicked at a bush and out popped a snake.

My Grandpa was afraid of snakes and tried kicking it in an attempt to kill it until the snake shouts "Stop!"

My Grandpa being stunned that he's come across a talking snake backs up and starts to run away. The snake again yells "Stop!"

Grandpa turns around and says "I must be going crazy, You're a talking snake."

The snake responds saying, "Yes, and my name is Nate."

My Grandpa says, "Well I'm Richard, so who are you and what are you doing here."

Nate says, "Well I was put here by God at the creation of the earth to protect something."

"Well what are you protecting." said My Grandpa.

Nate slithers over to the original bush and pushes away some of the branches to reveal a small lever sitting in the ground. "My job is to protect this bar from being moved, because if it does the Earth will spin out of orbit and fly into the sun."

My Grandpa was obviously flustered and thinking he'd had a bit too much to drink decides to listen to Nate and take heed, making sure not to touch the lever. He goes to another bush and relieves himself when he gets a wonderful idea.

After saying his good-byes to Nate and hopping back in his truck he continues his route to Los Angeles where he drops his load off and then goes to see the producers of all the top radio shows. He talks to the CEO's of NBC and CBS and convinces them to send out reporters to Nebraska to see Nate.

Nate gets really famous overnight. He gets interviewed on all of the news shows and gets guest spots on radio dramas, but eventually his 15 minutes of fame died down and he went back to guarding his small lever on the Nebraska plains.

Fast forward to just a few months ago, there was a terrible snow storm that hit Nebraska. Power was out for days and the roads were terrible. There was one driver named Carter David who had consumed just a bit too much alcohol. He got behind the wheel of his 98 Buick Skylark and started driving down some backroads he had driven hundreds of times.

This time though he hit a patch of ice and started sliding. He slid off the road and into a field. He eventually regained control of the Skylark just in time to see in front of him a bush to his left or a snake to his right.

He had to make a decision.

Bush.

Snake.

Bush.

Snake.

Quickly he veered his car to the right and hit the snake. He got out of his car after it came to a stop to see a dead snake a few yards behind him. The police came and so did the surrounding neighbors. One of the neighbors was in her late 80's and recognized the snake. They had become great friends after the snake became famous and identified him as Nate.

My Grandpa has been gone for about 8 years now but the authorities called our house wondering if he could come give the eulogy at Nate's funeral. I said he couldn't but because I knew the story I could come down and they said it'd be great. I gave the eulogy telling of fun times Nate had with reporters and how protective he was of his lever and ended it the way my Grandpa would've wanted me to end it.

I said. "I'm glad that Carter hit Nate. Because everyone knows that its Better Nate Than Lever."