My buddy showed up to work Monday with a black eye

I asked him what happened, and he said, “Well, I was at church yesterday and there was a woman in front of me. When we stood up, I noticed that her skirt had squeezed into her ass crack, so I pulled it out for her. She turned around and punched me in the eye!”

The next Monday, my buddy showed up to work with the other eye blackened. I couldn’t believe it, so I asked him what happened this time. He said, “Well, went to church again, and sat behind the same woman again. When we stood up, I noticed she had a wedgie again.”

“Oh no!”, I said. “You didn’t!”. “No,” he said, “but my brother was next to me, and he saw it and he pulled it out. Now, I know she don’t like that, so I pushed it back in!”

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