Wit and Wisdom Of Homer Sipmson

These are some of Homer Simpson's quote from Season 1 & 2


Season 1


It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.
I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the
light bulb.
Unlike most of you, I am not a but.
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of
a bottle. They're on TV!
As far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.
And remember not to act afraid. Animals can smell fear. And they don't
like it.
I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what
about those really smart ones who live among us who roller-skate and smoke
cigars?
I couldn't very well chop your hand off and bring it to the store could I?


Season 2


It's a fixer-upper. What's the problem? We get a bunch of priests in
here...
Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the
right-no the duty-to make a complete ass of myself.
Oh, cruel fate. Why do you mock me?
You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week. I told you. My
baby beat me up. Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up.
And anyone can be tooted?
English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
A hundred bucks! For a comic book? Who drew it, Micha-malangelo?