Life Lessons Learned At the Movies
* It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
* A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
* If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
* Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
* It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
* When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
* No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
* Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
* When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
* You can always find a chain saw when you need one.
* Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
* An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
* Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
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