Mommy, mommy!


Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf.


Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.


Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.


Mommy, Mommy! What's for dinner? Shut up and get back in the oven!


Mommy, mommy, what is a delinquent child? Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.


Mommy, mommy, what is a delinquent child? Shut up and pass me the crowbar.


Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men? Shut up and get back in the oven.


Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere? Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!


Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with grandma? Not today, we already dug her up three times this week.


Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs? Shut up and eat your cornflakes!


Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages they send to Africa? Shut up and get back in the box!


Mommy, Mommy! What's a werewolf? Shut up and comb your face!


Mommy, Mommy! Billy won't let go of my ear. Billy, let go of Susie's ear. Billy! Let go of her ear! All right Billy, give me the ear.


Mommy, Mommy! I hate daddy's guts. Well, just leave them on the side of the plate


Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy so pale? Shut up and keep digging.


Mommy, Mommy! I don't like grandpa. Well, just push him aside and eat your beans.


Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out! Well throw some more gasoline on him then.


Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia. Shut up son and keep swimming.


Mommy, Mommy! I keep running in circles. Shut up son or I'll nail your other foot to the floor


Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma! Shut up and keep digging.


Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl? Shut up and flush.


Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim! Shut up or I'll flush it again!


Mommy Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down here. Shut up or I'll flush it again.


Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgs for supper! Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.


Mommy, Mommy! I HATE tomato juice! Shut up and drink it before it clots.


Mommy, Mommy! What's a vampire? Shut up and eat your soup before it clots.


Mommy Mommy! I don't like tomato soup! Shut up, we only have it once a month.


Mommy, Mommy! I HATE spagetti! Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other arm.


Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye! Shut up and eat around it.


Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked! Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks!


Mommy, Mommy! Joey is biting grandma's nail. Joey, stop it, or I am closing the coffin!


Mommy, Mommy! Can I buy a new dress? You know it won't fit over your iron lung.


Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other kids? Shut up and deal.


Mommy, Mommy! Can I brush my teeth? Yes, now shut up and get the jar!


Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts! Shut up and get away from the dart board!


Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big. Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in!


Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox? Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.


Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire! Shut up and get the marshmallows!


Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire! Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!


Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls! Shut up and get back in the barrel!


Mommy, Mommy! I want to play with Sheldon! Shut up and close the coffin!


Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles? Shut up and get back in the barrel!


Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat grinder! Shut up and eat your hamburger!


Mommy, Mommy! How will we ever find Daddy on this golf course? Shut up and search the sand traps!


Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers! Shut up and eat your french fries!


What did the little boy say when his mother scolded him for cutting his Christmas present (a spotted hamster) neatly in two pieces with a cleaver?


Answer: "But, Mommy, you said that if I was good, I could halve him."

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.