...a lizard is walking along when he smells marijuana smoke. Having a good sense of smell, and not a stranger to the occasional toke, he follows it to the source and comes to the base of a truly mighty tree. High up in the branches is a monkey smoking a joint.
"Hey monkey" he yells.
The monkey looks around for a while before finally he sees the lizard. The monkey's eyes are extremely red - this is the stonedest animal the lizard has ever seen. "Hey man" says the monkey.
"Can I get a hit?" asks the lizard.
"Sure" says the monkey, and our lizard friend climbs up the tree. The monkey offers him the spliff - it's king size, rolled out of a banana leaf. The lizard takes a long toke and it's really good. Nice thick smoke, with a slight taste of mango.
The two animals sit in a comfortable silence and smoke the joint to the butt. The lizard has rarely been this high before - either through weed or in terms of elevation. The sun is starting to go down, the canopy of the trees are lit with the brilliant reddish-gold of the sun, flocks of toucans are flying past, everything is at peace with the world.
He's in a great place, an hour passes and he starts to realise his mouth is extremely dry. He tries to ignore it for as long as possible, but he just can't forget about it. "Hey man", he says to the monkey, "I've got the dries real bad. I've got to get a drink of water".
The monkey says "there's a river only a few minutes away. It's over there" pointing off to the south. "I'm about to roll another one, but I'll wait for you if you like".
"Thanks. I'll be back soon" says the lizard and starts climbing down the tree. The change from horizontal to vertical is a bit disorientating, not to mention he's high as a kite and hearing sounds like it's the first time he's ever heard them. He carefully makes his way down the tree, hesitates for a minute while he tries to remember which way the monkey had pointed, feels confident he remembers and ambles off through the bushes.
A few minutes later to his relief he he hears the sound of a slow moving river, and comes to a clearing where the sunlight is twinkling off the surface of a slow moving but wide river. The meandering water makes a soothing sound, the lizard is so incredibly calm that he doesn't notice that he log half submerged near the bank isn't a log at all.
The lizard ambles forward, and starts to take his much desired drink when the log quickly whips around - it's an enormous crocodile! Being in his calm and altered state, and totally not expecting this, the lizard struggles to process what is happening and just stands there, still drinking and looking at the croc with a quizzical look on his face.
The croc is a bit stunned - normally animals try to get the hell away from his jaws of death as quickly as possible, but the lizard is just standing there, giving him a look of disbelief with his extremely red eyes. It takes a second, but the croc gets it.
"You are high, aren't you?" he asks with a smile.
"..yeah.." giggles the lizard, feeling a bit self concious.
"You got any weed?" asks the dangerous croc.
"Nah" says the lizard, "but I know where you can get some" as the reality of the situation starts becoming apparent - he's inches away from the most deadly animal in the jungle, and he might be able to get away with his life. "I tell you what, if you promise not to eat me, I'll tell you how to find the guy with the stash".
"Deal" says the croc.
The lizard says "go that way for abut 5 minutes, look for the biggest tree you can find. In it is a monkey with the dankest pot you've ever seen".
"Thanks" says the croc, and dragging his massive bulk onto the shore starts walking in the direction the lizard is pointing. Thanking his lucky stars, the lizard figures he's had enough adventure for the day, and heads off home and out of the story.
The croc walks for a few minutes, and he sees the monkey. a joint and cloud of smoke coming from the branches of a tree.
"Hey monkey" he yells.
"Sorry man, but you were taking too long, so I......" starts the monkey before looking down and seeing the enormous reptile at the base of the tree. His eyes pop out of his head in surprise.
"Holy shit" he exclaims. "How much did you drink?"
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