An old guy was wandering around a supermarket calling out - "Crisco? Crisco? C-R-I-S-C-O!"
Finally, a clerk approached him and said, "Sir, the Crisco in on aisle seven."
"Oh," the old guy said, "I'm not looking for Crisco. I'm calling my wife."
"Your wife's name is Crisco?" the puzzled clerk asked.
"Hell, no," the old guy said. "I only call her that when we come to the supermarket."
"Oh? Well, what do you call her when you're not in the supermarket?" asked the clerk.
"Lard Ass!" replied the old guy.
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