Logical Analyst

A guy's sitting in the pub at the bar and strikes up a conversation with the dude next to him:


"So what do you do for a living then, mate?"

- "I'm a Logical Analyst"

"What does that mean?"

- "Here, let me demonstrate... Do you have any pets?"

"Yeh, we've got a cat"

- "Ah... So, logically speaking, because you said "We've", that would point to the fact that you are in a relationship and indeed living with the person you are involved with. And the fact that cats are most likely to be chosen as pets by women and you are not wearing a wedding ring, logical analysis would say that you are a straight male living with his partner who is either your girlfriend or maybe fiancee, but you are not married. Now, these are assumptions based on logical analysis of the facts given. The more facts you have the better the analysis you can make. Do you see?"

"Wow, that's clever. I do live with my girlfriend. THAT'S AMAZING!!"

- "It's quite simple really, anyone can do it." With that he finishes his drink and leaves

The barman comes over to the guy who's left and says to him, "So who was that?"

"He's a clever bloke. Taught me about Logical Analysis"

- "Yeh? How's that work then"

"You got any pets?"

- "No"

"Fucking queer"