Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. Q: What do you do if you run over a lawyer? A: Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel. Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?A: Professional courtesy. Q: What do have have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand. Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep? A: Because down deep, they are all nice guys! Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?A: Cut the rope. Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? A1: Take your foot off his head.A2: No. Good! Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water. Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit? A: The bucket. Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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